Football Simulation

On Fox Sports FC last night Andy Harper said something which I (for once) found interesting. He was referring to the topic of diving and his quote was that “football is a form of entertainment, and like in other forms of entertainment, you need your devilish characters.” I have to admit that I actually agree.

The act of diving – or simulation – has been depicted as the very thing that is wrong with football. It’s unsportsmanlike, it’s cheap, it’s an attempt to make a mockery out of the governing bodies of the game, and ultimately, it’s cheating. Paul Trimboli hit the nail on the head last night when he said that followers of other football codes look down on (our) football and its divers because it’s not a “manly” way to cheat. It’s cheating, but not only is it cheating, it’s cheating in a pansy way.

But Harps might be onto something here because, like he said, every form of entertainment will have its bad guys. Whether it be Hopoate’s finger up the bum, the Storms’ invention of the grapple tackle, Long John Daly’s “healthy” image as a professional athlete, Harbhajan high-fiving Sreesanth in the face, or Dennis Rodman (everything about him), their will be idiots in every sport and every field who will try to bend rules and push boundaries.

So instead of player education, I think we should concentrate on furthering referee’s standards. I know it sounds harsh, since the whole point of simulation is to fool the referee, but at the end of the day there are three refs, and usually only one diver at a time. Plus, it is ultimately the referee’s job to carry out the rules of the game, and identifying (and penalising) divers is therefore a part of the job.

I think the stress on player education will fall on deaf ears, simply for the fact that the guys who dive already know they aren’t meant to but still do it anyway. You can’t wipe out that element out of the game. They’ve been taught from the onset that diving is wrong, and they know full well the penalties involved if they get caught. So I say if they still persist on doing it, then let them. Just smash them with increased penalty, say a four week suspension for first offenders, a ten game suspension for repeat offenders, and the electric chair for those who cop a third strike. Let them know that they are running a risk if they dive.

And more importantly, shame them. If they are caught, let the world know that they dived, that they are cheats. Put it in such a negative way that murderers seem like angels compared to divers. That sort of stigma is something no sportsperson will ever want to stick with throughout their careers.

After all, sports fans have very long memories. Just ask Murali.